You're right, that photo did look like a Bread album cover.
Also wondering if, rather than The Law of Conservation of Portage Matter, if The Law of Conserving Portage Momentum might be the more appropriate law, since it states "once that sucker starts, there's no end."
And forget not The Five Stages of Portage. Drew, I devised these a long time ago, in fact I fleshed them out a good deal more than what I'm showing here, but I feel with your penchant for writing with a flair for the dramatic, you might just enjoy this.... Guess we'll find out. With grief, it is denial, anger, barganing, depression, and acceptance. With Portaging, those five stages are just the first half. If a portage goes on long enough, with sufficient brutality, there are five additional stages:
Pain (when it becomes your constant companion).
Resignation (irrational sense of permanence "I will always be here".
Fear (Anxiety that you will collapse, but you never get that lucky).
Despair (sensation of urgency to drop the boat/pack, alternating with muscle memory to stagger onward, in a mentality of absolute pack mule hopelessness).
Submission (At a point beyond Despair and Pain, an agreement within your soul to stop believing there is an end, a clearing, or any signal of nearing an end; an acknowledgement that all forest features are indistinguishable from one another, and that the sameness of this view and activity will continue for eternity. "I submit".)
Lastly - how do you like the Aerial? That's on my "serious consideration" list.