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The forum rules evolved due to some conflicts that occurred many years ago. In response to those early difficulties, I also had to "ban" a number of abusive users. With successful adherence to the rules, the past years have been a much friendlier experience on the forum. The odd time some people have needed reminding about the forum rules. As the forum moderator, I periodically reached out by Private Message and managed to achieve compliance.
Recently one particular forum user became dissatisfied with forum responses and reacted by deleting their forum account. An unfortunate effect of deleting one's forum account is that one's individual forum postings are automatically deleted. This leaves "holes" in discussion threads which disrupt the flow of the recorded conversations. And if that same forum user had been the "Original Poster" of a discussion thread, then that entire discussion was automatically deleted along with it.
When this became apparent to me, I reached out via phone to the person. We had a sociable lengthly conversation, realizing that the person had registered a new/different forum account.
Over the following days, it seemed the new forum ID was re-establishing himself. However, it appears that some of his dissatisfaction may have of been communicated to other users. The resulting upset was expressed by another user with express reference to the forum rules. I responded that I would be lowering the "rule hammer". In an effort to calm the waters, I contacted the "new forum ID" by PM and asked him to "play nice"!
Unexpectedly, the individual reacted by deleting their new forum account also. Since he had been the "OP" of the very discussion thread where the forum rules were being referenced, that entire thread "disappeared". I want forum readers to understand that rather than "playing nice", the forum user chose (for the second time) to delete their account and their entire presence on the forum.
In the distant past I used the optional "ban" as a moderation tool. Subsequently I developed the "rules" and adopted using direct communications to try to improve any problems. Unfortunately not all problems can be overcome.
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Barry, for what it's worth, being on your forum for a while now and experienced numerous unfortunate episodes over the years of what you and the forum members have gone through, . . . You have me (and many others I'm sure) appreciate you keeping this forum online, regardless of those unfortunate "outliers" who cause these disruptions that result in the effort you go through keeping this form active
Sincerely, Andy W
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Thanks for the note of explanation, Barry. I'm sure it isn't easy to keep tab on the site and make sure everybody is being civil, etc. The effort is much appreciated.
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I'll chime in as well in support of the yeoman's work you do to set and maintain the rules of decorum. AA has long been an invaluable source of information and dialogue and not a petty, critical board to target those who know or have seen less.
I appreciate the experience and wisdom of the many members (and even those who I've had minor disagreements with over the years!). Civility and respect should come naturally to us, but we often need reminders to resist escalating minor differences in opinion to argument and conflict.
Thank you for the forum and the ongoing headaches of managing it!!
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I know very well what you're talking about- I really hate to see people drop out, but I hate even more when they bash another member here repeatedly, especially when it's been someone who has never had a bad word for anyone, and has contributed greatly to the discussions for years.
I wish the OP no ill will, but we all have to play nice with each other- I've seen too many forums disappear over people squabbling over the dumbest things, and really hope this one never degrades to that point.
Thank you for going the extra mile and trying your best to calm the poster down, but, unfortunately, some people refuse to change.
I admit that I'm not perfect, as you can still see that some of my posts sound like I'm still instructing kids, but we all have little quirks that others notice over the years- that's just one of the things that make this forum continue and even grow in the face of massive media sources available today- instead of being in a great big auditorium like FB, YT, or X, we're like the little tree fort in the woods where we can all gather, have fun, and go home after, comfortable in knowing we're all still friends...
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